From the kiss of respect to platonic kiss to a passionate kiss like you see in the movies, bringing your lips in contact with someone else's is a sign of affection that most people enjoy. But since there are many kinds of kisses to reflect the many levels of affection you can have for someone, it can be nerve-wracking! Don't worry, though--this article will go over several kinds of kisses, as well as when, and how, to give them.
Before a Romantic Kiss
- 1Get your lips in proper kissing order. The most kissable lips are smooth and sweet, not dry, chapped and tense. The guidelines in How to Get Kissable Lips will help both men and women make their lips look more attractive and inviting. Here are the basics:
- Exfoliate your lips to make them soft. You never want your lips hard or chapped and dry.
- Moisturize your lips to keep them soft.
- Relax your lips by parting them ever so slightly.
- 2Look inviting and approachable. You might not realize it when you send a "leave me alone" message, so read up on How to Look Approachable. Uncross your arms, keep your hands away from your face, make eye contact, and smile! Similarly, read his or her body language - is this person into you? Or does this person seem uncomfortable?
- 3Break the "touch barrier." Touch the person lightly on the arm or shoulder when you're talking. Just make it a quick, innocent touch and don't make a big deal out of it. Holding hands is also a good way to break the touch barrier. (Guys, you may want to read How to Touch a Girl for more ideas on how to break the touch barrier without overstepping boundaries. Girls, you may want to read How to Touch a Guy for advice.) If everything is going well, try kissing the person on the cheek. If you find your lips near their ear (like if you're hugging someone from behind, or whispering something to them) go in for a gentle kiss on the cheek and see how they respond.
- Please note that the touch barrier is culture dependent. In certain cultures, e.g. Islamic, breaking the touch barrier is a big taboo that can land you in serious trouble. Be very careful.
- 4smile demurely. You don't have to be really obvious about it. Many people will take the hint, especially if they've read one of the many articles that lists this as a sign that a person wants to kiss or be kissed.
The Gentle Lip Lock (Romantic Kiss)
- 1As your lips make contact with theirs, pucker them slightly and close your eyes. If you "overpucker" your lips will become tense, which is better for the platonic peck (described below), not for romance.
- 3Open your eyes. Once your gaze meets theirs, smile a little and decide whether or not to go for another kiss. If things are going well, move on to the next step. Or if one or both of you think that's enough for today, pull away, smile, and shift your gaze elsewhere.
- 4Kiss your partner's upper or lower lip again, but this time part your lips so that their lip goes between yours. Apply a little bit of pressure closing your lips as you pull away. You can practice on the length of your finger to get an idea for how much pressure to apply. You can also gently pinch one of your lips between your index finger and thumb to see how it feels to have someone kiss you in this way.
- 5Switch to the other lip. If you were kissing their upper lip, now go to their lower lip, and vice versa. Ideally, as you kiss someone's upper lip, they're kissing your lower lip, and vice versa, and you can go on like this for quite some time, alternating with closed lip kisses.
The French Kiss
Main Article: How to French Kiss
- 1As you are locking and re-locking lips, brush your tongue against your partner's lips ever so slightly. This should make it clear that you want to French kiss. If your partner's tongue does not respond in like fashion or if they pull away, you will have to save the French kiss for another time when you are both ready.
- 2Slowly open your mouth a little bit more and gently push your tongue a little farther into their mouth until the tip of your tongue meets the tip of theirs. Let your tongues brush against each other briefly and gently and then pull it away, back into your own mouth.
- 3Close your mouth a little (not all the way) and open it again to start another kiss. This time you can push your tongue a little further into your partner's mouth, so that more of it brushes against theirs.
- 5Finish off a French kiss with a little lip locking (as described in the previous section) or continue kissing, in which case you'll want to read the tips in How to Make Out.
The Platonic Kiss
- 1Turn your head before you lean in. If you want to kiss someone on the cheek, and that someone is at risk of misinterpreting your intentions, make it clear that you're not going for the mouth by turning your head off to the side before you lean in.
- 2Pucker your lips more tightly than you would for a romantic kiss. To know if you're puckering your lips correctly, kiss in the air. How loud is the kissing noise? It should be a clearly audible "pop" of your lips as you part them while sucking air in. A romantic kiss will barely make this noise because your lips are much more relaxed.
- 3Keep it brief. The amount of time your lips spend on the other person's cheek or lips should be limited to whatever it takes to make that kissing noise described in the previous step - nothing more. If your lips linger, it won't seem so platonic. In some settings, it might be appropriate to not make any lip to skin contact at all; read up on How to Air Kiss.
The Kiss of Respect, or Worship
- 2Take the person's hand (usually) gently and bring it close to your lips.
- 3Pucker your lips more tightly than you would for a romantic kiss. To know if you're puckering your lips correctly, kiss in the air. How loud is the kissing noise? It should be a clearly audible "pop" of your lips as you part them while sucking air in. A romantic kiss will barely make this noise because your lips are much more relaxed.
- 4Keep it brief. The amount of time your lips spend on the other person's hand should be limited to whatever it takes to make that kissing noise described in the previous step, no more. In some settings, it might be appropriate to not make any lip to skin contact at all; read up on How to Air Kiss.
Common Kissing Issues
- The bad kisser. So that new guy or girl in your life is just perfect. Kind, caring, fun, exciting--he or she has it all. Except... Oh, what a terrible kisser! Luckily, most bad kissers can become good kissers if you have a little patience, tact, and courage. Check out How to Deal With a Bad Kisser.
- Kissing someone who's much taller or shorter than you. Got a sore neck from looking up at your partner? Or are you always hunching so you can see eye to eye? Don't fret. There's a way to pull this off. Read How to Kiss Somebody Who Is a Different Height.
- Bad breath. This is one of the worst thing to deal with when kissing someone. Read How to Get Rid of Bad Breath.
- Got braces? It's not dangerous, and the odds of getting linked braces are very small, but here are a few precautions: How to Kiss With Braces