Monday, July 4, 2011

Put Your Best Kiss Forward

Here are a few of the many varieties of "kisses" that exist. Not all of these are acts of love and passion, but it is interesting to note the spectrum of emotional sensation that results from this one mode of expression.

"To touch with the lips especially as a mark of affection or greeting… to touch gently or lightly…to salute or caress one another with the lips…to come in gentle contact." … Webster's Dictionary, definition of kissing.


The lips are one of the most sensitive parts of your body. Although you may not think about the biology behind a kiss, kissing has a lot to do with igniting the hormonal chemicals in your body. This produces a lot of electricity between you and the person you are about to kiss.

“I do not know how to kiss, or I would kiss you. Where do the noses go?”
Ingrid Bergman

Each lip has many touch receptors and these are crowded together in a very small place, so even the lightest touch registers. This is why it really hurts when you burn your lips, and why even the slightest touch can be enjoyable. These receptors create electrical signals that travel to your brain, releasing chemicals and causing that "feel-good" feeling to occur.

Kissing started early in our evolution. Even Chimpanzees kiss after a fight. Scientists are not quite sure why we kiss; only that kissing may be an instinctual action. It could also be the result of learned behaviour.

One theory is that kissing helps us sniff out desired qualities in a mate. When we smell the person we kiss, our pheromones communicate and exchange information.

Here are a few of the many varieties of "kisses" that exist. Not all of these are acts of love and passion, but it is interesting to note the spectrum of emotional sensation that results from this one mode of expression.


This kiss embraces a multitude of meanings. Simply stated, it is a gesture of a kiss. Because of this, it can convey the meanings of all the kisses stated, from the passionate kiss to the kiss of death.

How To: To blow a kiss, raise your hand up to your mouth, kiss your palm (the lips do not necessarily have to touch the palm) then blow on the space that you kissed, and aim towards the recipient. Accompany this with a giggle, a big smile, and a wave.

A woman's point of view:

"They are little bursts of love" - JB (kissing since 1977)

A man's point of view:

"I learned how to kiss this way when I was a child. It was something you did when your aunt or uncle drove away on a car or a bus...later on I did it to people I was mad at when I was driving. It was a way to get to them without flipping the finger." - Bill (kissing since 1974)

No-No's of Blowing a Kiss:

  1. Not making eye contact: Make sure the other person is watching you do this. If they are not, your gesture is wasted.
  2. Having high expectations: Don't expect this kiss to mean more than it does. It's just an act of affection. That's it. Nothing more.


This is a light and innocent type of kiss. No lip action required in this type of kiss.

How to: Move your face so close to your partner so that your eyelashes touch and then blink your eyes so that your eyelashes flutter against each other.

A woman's point of view:

"An old boyfriend did this once. It was more of a tease than anything. He bent over to kiss me, and then it seemed as if he changed his mind, and then brushed his eyelashes against mine. It made me laugh." - Jen (kissing since 1990)

A man's point of view:

"My mother would give me these when I was feeling sad." – Glenn (kissing since 1974)

No-No's of Butterfly Kisses

    1. Keep it Light: This isn't anything you do with force.
    2. Keep it Light, part deux: Most people see Butterfly Kisses as funny and light-hearted, so do not expect to ignite great passion this way.


The Classic French Kiss has been around with us for ages; sometimes it is simply referred to as "giving tongue" or "frenching." It begins like a classic kiss with two lips touching, and progresses to the opening of mouths, and then the touching of tongues.

How To: The lips, opened only slightly, should touch first lightly and then more passionately. Then, when both partners are ready, the tongues should touch and explore, entwining in a languishing manner. The tongue is a very sensual tool. It has nerve receptors that measure not only feeling, but also taste. Therefore, it is important to respect it, as well as feel free to explore this sensation to the fullest.

A woman's point of view:

"I think it can be a nightmare if you don't know what you are doing….it is not a wrestling match… it's an intimate dance… full of subtleties. One has to have a certain level of finesse and intuition to do it properly"-- Paige (kissing since 1985)

A man's point of view:

"French kissing is a very sensuous way to kiss, a lot more so than just 'pecking'…. It heightens the foreplay experience and, naturally, the sexual experience."-- Mark (kissing since 1979)

No-No's of the French Kiss:

    1. Darting snake tongue: Do not, under any circumstance flick your tongue in and out of another person's mouth quickly in a snake-like manner; it doesn't work. Like good barbecue, the French Kiss is "low and slow".
    2. Alien invasion: Avoid pushing your tongue into someone's unsuspecting mouth.
    3. Bad breath: If you are going to do the tonsil waltz with someone, make sure your teeth are clean, flossed, and that you did not eat sushi beforehand. If you really must kiss this way after a smelly but tasty meal, indulge in a mint before hand.


In Europe, it is customary to kiss in greeting, much the way other cultures will shake hands. It is a way to share affection without really committing to anything passionate at all. Everyone kisses: children, adults, and grandparents. It is a polite form of sharing your personal space and it is a sign of trust and friendship between two people.

How To: This kiss is performed differently, depending on where you are from. Some cultures kiss the air beside one cheek and the other. Sometimes only one side is kissed. If you are in unfamiliar cultural territory, it is best to wait and see what the other person does first before you attempt this kiss. Occasionally, this kiss will turn into a full mouth peck, but rarely does it move past that.

A woman's point of view:

"I never know what to expect, I just do as the Roman's do." - Debbie (kissing since 1980)

A man's point of view:

"Do guys even do this?" - Luke (kissing since 2000)

No-No's of the Euro Kiss:

  1. Avoid trend setting: Unless you are brazen, do not introduce this into a culture that doesn't do this.
  2. Overstepping into passion: Do not move from this kiss to a French Kiss unless you are a hundred percent sure the energy is right to move forward.


This kiss is one that occurs at the end of the date. It could be the most passionate experience or the most frustrating one. The Goodnight Kiss could be any one of the kisses mentioned in this e-booklet; however, its basic meaning is that it signals the end of a date. Depending on the passion (or lack thereof) of this kiss, a couple could end up in bed, or they may never see or hear from each other again.

How To: If you are not sure if this kiss will occur, move slowly in closer to your partner, and bend your head in. Relax, but be ready for them to reciprocate. If they are moving in with you, good news! You're on your way to a successful goodbye kiss. If they back off, you know the kiss has been voided. So, to save face, fake a sneeze, or offer up a simple "gee, I'm silly" hug instead.

A woman's point of view:

"As the song says, it's in his kiss." - Debbie (kissing since 1979)

A man's point of view:

"A woman will judge you on that first very important kiss. It's important not to be all stressed out and sweaty; relax, lean in and let them know just how great it was to be out with them…" - Aaron (kissing since 1970)

No-No's of the Goodbye Kiss:

    1. Overdoing it- This starts as a very gentle kiss, so don't rush in without knowing where you are going. If this is a first date, take your time, flirt a little and tune into your partner.
    2. Losing awareness- If you are drunk out of your mind, you may misinterpret this kiss completely and make a fool out of yourself, especially if your partner is sober. If you are both tipsy, however, this kiss may turn out to be lots of fun. Know your limits.


This kiss is a bruise that is caused using ones lips. Some people think of it as a way to say, "I've been here". Everyone does not favor this kiss, so its one of those things that is best discussed before performed. However, sometimes in the heat of passion, it happens. The next morning the recipient wakes up and finds out that he or she has strange bruises all over his or her body.

How To: To give a hickey, start by kissing your partners skin, open your mouth and then slightly suck on the place that you kissed. The object is to create a vacuum. It doesn't take long before you have created a bruise without causing too much pain in the process.

A woman's point of view:

"It's a mark of passion." - Laurie (kissing since 1975)

A mans point of view:

"Endless fun, my way of marking my progress into unknown territory." - James (kissing since 1981)

No-No's of Hickeys

    1. Overkill: A hickey kiss should last no longer than 30 seconds; after that you are overdoing it.
    2. Keep it confidential: Avoid places like face and hands. Yes, it is fun to advertise but you need to respect your partner's privacy.
    3. Unwelcome hickey: It's a good idea to ask before you administer a hickey. Some people don't like them.


That first kiss is the marker that measures all other kisses in your life. Whether you liked your first kiss or not, it is your own personal history and it colors your attitude about other kisses that you may experience later on.

How To: The only "how to" that can be passed along here is that you should just let go of all worries and let it happen. Make sure you choose wisely, that you feel comfortable with the person you are with; wait for that connection. Don't feel pressured. Watch for that instinctual moment when two people move just a little bit closer, heads leaning in enough to encourage the other to do likewise.

A woman's point of view:

"I can't really remember it that well... it just sort of happened… I don't know if my response was that passionate… I wanted to know what it was like… like a scientist" -Rebecca (kissing since 2003)

A man's point of view:

"Drunk, wearing a suit, trying to be adult at a house party with friends, talking loud in Victor's basement, listening to Styx and Chris de Burgh tapes where you could hear the pop of the needle dropping into a groove, slipping away with Mary, my date, to another room. Sitting side by side, holding her hand, her head bent back and her eyes hooded, the kiss rocketing through tentativeness to passion almost instantly, surprising both of us. It was a good kiss." - Kevin (kissing since 1982)

No-No's of First Kisses:

    1. Thinking too much: It's one of those things that have to happen. So, just do it!
    2. Having witnesses: Two's company, three's a crowd. You don't need cheerleaders.
    3. Not being aware of the other person: Try to tune into where they are; they will give you clues through their body language.


In mythology, sometimes Death (as a spirit) kisses a person who will soon die. This kiss is hardly a sign of affection, but rather is a kiss that that brings endings, not beginnings. The origins could come from the Bible. Judas kissed Jesus before Romans arrested him and took him away to his death. This term has become an idiom; it is an act of termination. For example, if an actor performed badly during a play, that performance could become his "kiss of death", effectively ending his career as an artist.

How To: There is no real how to. In fiction, mob members may use the Euro Kiss (see above) in such a way to point out a proposed assassination victim. In love, a heartless person could give a lover a last quick kiss, signalling the end of the relationship.

A woman's point of view:

"I once went on a date that turned out to be a bomb. This guy gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and I knew I wasn't going to see him again." - Maureen (kissing since 1980)

A man's point of view:

"This is something you see in the movies, right… someone has to die and someone else kisses him. After that, they shoot him down" - George, (kissing since 1972)

No-No's of the Kiss of Death:

  1. Taking it back: You cannot take the Kiss of Death back, ever. Once it happens, it happens; something has ended.
  2. Double-check: If you are a gangster, make sure you have the right victim.

LIGHT PECK (or "smack")

This is the not so serious kiss, the "I'm too busy to really stop and kiss you properly" kiss. Often, it is done between married couples who have been together for a long time. Sometimes, couples are too embarrassed to kiss passionately in public so they opt for the chaste kiss. This kiss has been going on for centuries.

How To: Simply touch lips gently and quickly with your partner. Often, this is accompanied by words of endearment. If someone kisses you this way the morning after a passionate night, you should refer back to the "Kiss Off" kiss, because that is what you are getting.

A woman's point of view:

"I dunno, it's cute" - Chris (kissing since 1984)

A man's point of view:

"It's good for the end of dates early on in a relationship, and public kissing, and yea it's fun, but it leaves you kind of hanging." – LJ (kissing since 1994)

No-No's of the Light Peck:

  1. Hard landing: Sometimes in haste you may misjudge where your partner is and actually end up kissing harder than you wanted to, or kissing something unintended, like a nose or a chin. This could result in injury, so if you are inexperienced, take your time.
  2. Timing is everything: Make this kiss too short and your partner will wonder why you even bothered; too long and this kiss graduates to the long, lingering kiss. To deliver a light peck successfully, keep your kiss around 2 seconds.


This is a meaningful kiss. It speaks volumes. Personal space is gone, and two bodies meld to exchange a kiss that speaks of passion and love. Everything needs to be done slowly. Occasionally, this kiss begins with a quick peck and then graduates to something deeper.

How to: Find a comfortable place to sit. A couch is great, because you will be in this position for a while. Close your eyes (it could be awkward with your eyes open). Tilt your head to one side and lean in. Your partner, if he or she is fully participating, will tilt his or her head ever so slightly to the other side and both will kiss, touching softly at first and then a little more intensely as you continue on. This is a kiss to be savoured. Chemistry heats up, synapses sizzle, and time stops.

A woman's point of view:

"A deep kiss is one of those things that just happen - a showing of true feeling. The key to doing a deep kiss is to be slow and be slow on everything." - Alicia (kissing since 1988)

A man's point of view:

"You know it's love…when you kiss like this." - Dan (kissing since 1979)

No-No's of the Slow Passionate Kiss:

  1. Too long for this song: Don't over do it. If your partner seems restless and bored, it's time to stop.
  2. No Chewing Gum: Even though your breath is clean, this kiss won't work when your mouth is full of gum. Get rid of the gum way before this kiss happens.
  3. Kicking that one foot up: This never happens; no one has a desire to kick one foot up. However, one does get weak in the knees if this kiss is delivered with expertise.


This is the heroic, mythical kiss that you see in the movies, or that you read about in comic books. It is the kiss at the end of a romantic movie like Casablanca. It is the hauntingly sweet, upside-down kiss between Spiderman and Mary Jane. This kiss conveys powerful meaning and drama. It is the unforgettable kiss between two people that changes lives and stops time.

How to: Something disastrous or emotionally intense needs to happen first. A life is saved, and then suddenly there is this big bolt of chemistry. Two people just have to kiss. Often one person places both hands on the other person's face and holds them in place, though this isn't necessary. This is a long kiss, lasting 3 seconds to a few minutes. Enough to create that powerful wave of passion that makes both partners swoon with emotion.

A woman's point of view:

"It's a do-or-die kind of kiss…it causes you to forget who you are and the world disappears." - Sarah (kissing since 1990)

A man's point of view:

"Great thing to see in a movie after a giant explosion, gun fights, and torn clothing…often accompanying interesting gadgets like in James Bond Movies." - Phil (kissing since 1970)

No-No's of the Super Hero Kiss:

  1. Chickening out: Once you have decided the timing is right, just do it. Backing away makes you look weak.
  2. Forgetting that this is fantasy: A kiss won't turn you into a Cowboy, a Super Hero, or a Knight in shining armour. However, with a little bit of imagination, you can feel that way for as long as this kiss lasts.


Sometimes a passionate kiss goes a step further. You might suddenly want to use your teeth to gently bite or nibble someone's lower lip. This is would be considered an "approach with caution" kiss, because not everyone is into this.

How To: It is important to talk and to tune into your partner before doing this. Start with a deep French kiss and explore. Make sure your partner is relaxed and into the intensity of this kiss. Then, when you feel you need to go in deeper, nibble and then bite down on your partner's lower lip. Be prepared for fireworks to go off.

A woman's point of view:

"I see a bite as a teasing kind of thing, like jalapeƱo peppers, something you can't overdo or you wreck the whole stew….I don't like hard bites ever, but I like the idea when the play is taken to the edge." – Marie (kissing since 1979)

A man's point of view:

"It is important to figure out what your partner likes, or chances are you'll get clocked…although sometimes getting clocked is part of the fun, depending on what you are into. I like to bite when it gets intense. - Tom (kissing since 1977)

No-No's of The Vampire Kiss:

    1. Too hard, too fast: You will get a bad reaction if your partner is not into this.
    2. Breaking skin: Yes, this falls under the "too hard" category…and unfortunately could cause you to pass on sexually transmitted diseases in the process.
    3. Lack of communication: You need to get feedback in order to continue with this; not everyone likes to be bitten.

The most important thing to remember here is to use your imagination and to be very aware of what is going on with your partner. A kiss is like a dance; it expresses how you feel. It takes in all the senses: taste, touch, smell, feel and sight. So go ahead and sweep someone off their feet.

WET KISS- (Kissing in the rain or in water)

Water is a conductor, intensifying and carrying electrical current. Kissing when you are all wet adds volume to the passionate jolt between two people.

How to: Submerge yourself into water by kissing when you are swimming or lying on the beach (and the waves hit the both of you), or take advantage of a powerful rainstorm by embracing and kissing during the intensity of a heavy downpour. This kiss creates a dramatic, all-body sensation. Both you and your lover can embrace under a heavy rainstorm (thunder and lighting creates drama) and kiss deeply, feeling the water fall upon your face and trickle over your lips. This kiss can also occur anywhere from oceanside to shower stall.

A woman's point of view:

"The heavier our clothes became with rain, the lighter I felt inside; we opened our hearts, and all the fear washed away by this kiss." - India (kissing since 1994)

A mans point of view:

"I want it to be the kind of kiss that just envelopes you and you don't notice that you are soaking wet." - Cory (kissing since 1988)

No-No's of the Wet Kiss

    1. See right through everything- Make sure you are not wearing clothes that become see-through in the rain. Unless, of course, that is your intention. If so, go ahead! It will become even more passionate and intense.
    2. Watch the lightning- No kissing under a big tree, otherwise you both may be very sorry.
    3. Sand becomes sandpaper- Ocean shore kissing is fun, but don't stay there too long; sand friction could dampen this experience.


Damdar, Chris. "Cram Science." 2006 July.

Fiore, Kristina. "Why do Humans Kiss?" Science Line. Journalism NYU edu. 2006 Oct.

"Famous Kisses from Judas to Spider-Man." TOPTENZ.NET. 2008 June.

Kiss." Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2008. Merriam-Webster Online. 12 August 2008

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